I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!

You know how in my last blog I wrote about phrases? I have another new phrase that evreyone keeps haunting me at the moment! Well i guess its more of a question. The new ones are :

• Have you got a job yet?
• Are you working?
• So do you know where you are going to be working?

The answer to them all is NO! It's not like I havn't been trying because I really have! Its not that easy to get a job this side of Christmas. I wish people would give me a break. Positivity at the moment in my life is very rare.

I was encouraged by someone at church though who told me I was very brave for leaving uni and she said i was very brave to overcome everything I have. Talking of church the children did so well this year. Our children are very precious because we only have six children and only two youth. Yeah very sadening. They maybe small in number but they did a play focusing on the angels and really got me into the Christmas spirit. All I have been thinking about since I got home was getting a job and sorting myself out. I didnt't even think about Christmas and that play made me think about Jesus and how lucky i am to have Him in my life. I dunno what I would have done without him in the past few months. So now I'm focusing on Jesus and after Christmas I will sort everything out because these next few days are about him.

Busy Busy Busy

So I've been back about a week now and I have been so busy! Last Sunday was a bit an awkward day. Everyone at my church was excited to see me back for Christmas (but little did they know that I'm back for good). I felt so bad telling people I've left uni. There were many shocked and disapointed faces. The main phrases of the day were:

• "Oh why?"
• "Thats a shame"
• "Oh dear"

There were many disapointed people. I felt really bad and everytime I had to explain myself I got more and more emotional. I hate people feeling disapointed in me! It makes me feel really down. By the end of the day I wanted to scream at the whole congregation and just say "I've quit uni because i didn't like it and NO i don't want to talk about it!". There weren't many encouraging comments at all! Which for a church sometimes can be a little disheartening.

Anyways on Monday it was very tideous because I think I went to nearly every hair dressing salon in Colchester asking if they were looking to take on any trainees. NO JOY! What does look promising though is a hairdressing academy (which applied to yesterday) where I can do an apprentiship and get an NVQ in hairdressing. So fingers crossed.

I've spent alot of time with my cousin Georgina this week it was good to catch up and be girly. Shes doing a fashion course at college and on Wednesday I modelled a dress she made. I hope I did ok I was so nervous. Her dress was amazing.

Last night was absoluly manic. I baby sat my cousins and they are so incredibly naughty! There were 2 blackcurrent spillages, very bad table manners (throwing food is bad!) and fighting (why couldn't my aunty of had girls) !

Today was good me and my parents went searching for my christmas present. Im still not sure whether 2 get a laptop or a desktop. I was looking around and saw a few good deals but we didnt buy anything today.

So yeah I have had a very busy week and bring on next week! Im starting my driving lessons up again so hopefully that will go well. hmmmm we'll see.

Bye Bye Roehampton!

After a lot of thinking, pondering, worrying and panic attacks I have decided to leave uni. It wasn't a quick decision I can tell you that. University is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I have failed every essay that I have done here. Its so hard and my hearts just not in it anymore! I now fear drama and have realised that I don't want it to be like this. I want to go back to enjoying it. I have prayed about this a lot!
I don't think there has been a day here where I have wanted to give up. I have cried at least twice every week and for me thats not normal! For people who know me, i am not one to cry alot. Im normally very happy and joking around!
For those of you who are questioning what is this girl going to next? Fear not! I have a kind of plan! I am going to apply to colchester institute and do a course in either beauty therapy or hairdressing. This will all start in September so i will have to get a full time job inbetween. Well this is the plan. It may not turn out exactly as I plan but i know God will look after me.
So yeah! A bit of a shock. My mum and step dad are just glad that im gonna be doing what makes me happy! I havn't told my dad yet i left him an answer message so hopefully he'll ring me back soon and not read this before ringing. Sorry dad if you do.
I did worry about what my family would think because i am the first to go to uni (apart from uncle malc) and I don't want to disapoint anyone. I know my mum was proud of me for getting in and i feel bad because shes been so supportive.
At least I can say I've tried uni and it wasn't for me. End of. Thats it. Im just dreading packing everything up again! Its gonna take forever!