Very scared and worried

Ok so this is probably gonna be on of my most personal blogs i've ever written. Right now i am so scared about my future.
Currently i am so worried about a 1000 word essay that has got to be in tomorrow. I have so far only written the title. I don't know where to go from there. We have to do a critical essay on an article but the problem is that i don't understand what the article is about. I have tried contacting my tutor but he hasn't got back to me. This essay is worth 100% of this module! So yeh im pretty screwed!
I was very upset last week and even considered leaving uni but then a little voice inside told me to hang in there. Right now I wanna give up so much. I have two weeks left and then i get about 2 months off. I just wanna go home now. All of my work is so hard. Im trying so hard but i can't do it!
A lot of the time while at uni is spent on my own so all this work and worry gets to me even more.
My mum came to visit me yesterday along with my two auntys and i had a really good time. Really though it made me miss home even more!
Right now i feel so alone because no one is around! HELP!!!! I just wanna go home. I really dunno what to do. If any of my church friends are reading this then i would really really appreciate it if you could pray for me. Anyone else - advice please! xx

Fire in the hole!!!!! ...well actually the oven!

It was a normal friday evening me and my flatmates were happily sitting down and watching 'deal or no deal'. Love that show. That Noel Edmunds is one funny guy. Ok so we get bored at uni! Its an additive show ok? It was a really rubbish contestant and we loved watching her fail miserably! mwhahaha. Alice and Kaley were having their usual from mammas pizza and im thinking i really should get off my bum and cook something soon.
Anyways Aaron decided he was going to cook some burgers under the grill for his dinner. Very normal. So he cooks and we watch 'deal or no deal'. Suddenly theres a really familar smell its .....a bbq? In November? Surely not! No its Aarons cooking! So me and the girls say to him to maybe turn the grill down a touch because by this point the kitchen is becoming extremly smokey!! Aaron says being a third year and all "Oh it'll be ok, as long as we keep the kitchen door shut the fire alarm won't go off". By this time it is getting even more smokey and I'm beginning to worry because its raining very hard outside! Hannah then suddenly lets out a little shriek! She said she saw a flame in the oven. Not a good sign! I look over and yep I see it flames! They are only little ones that kept dying. The kitchen by now is covered in smoke. There should never be this much smoke in the kitchen I mean really!
Suddenly it happens the dreaded sound. Yep you've guessed it. The fire alarm sounds. All my flatmates start cursing Aaron and we all quickly vacate the flat. Alice with no shoes on. So we are all standing outside with no umbrella and its pouring. NOT my ideal friday night. Me and my flatmates decided to get Aaron back for this so we decided to inform everyone in our block who is freezing and wet that it is Aarons fault that they are freezing and wet!
Ok so by this time the two fire engines come along. There is no fire just ALOT of smoke! This really irritates me because they send TWO fire engines for NO fire! There could be someone elsewhere needing the fire service for real!
The lesson we were told by the security guy was learn to cook! Cheeky so and so!

My missing mummy moan! (great alliteration dont you think?)

Right so ive been at uni for about 2 months now and apparently (according to friends) after awhile you get 'used' to missing people. At the moment i really really miss my family! I dunno why but today has been one of those days where i just can't seem to get them off my mind. My mum rings me everyday but its just not the same. I miss most of all hugs! I dont get many of those! Im not going home till december 15th and ive promised myself that i wont go home till then! Its gonna be so hard! All i wanted to do today was jump on a train and go home! I dunno what i would have done if i was still living in my old flat because they were so hard to live with and it would have made things twice as hard.
Theres nothing quite like home. I love going home because i can totally be myself because im around the people who love me no matter what and they know me better than anyone. I just wanna be in my own bed with my harry potter mug filled with tea that mum made me!
I also can't stand London at times because its such a hole! Theres hardly any green around and i don't feel very safe. In Essex you can walk around town and not get barged out of the way! In London its soooooo crowded and smelly!
I cant wait till November 29th! My mums coming up with my auntys to see me. We are gonna go christmas shopping! I cant wait till christmas not just because i get to go home but because i just love that time of year! Everyone is so happy around christmas! Even me LOL

My Roomies and my fasinating key!

Ok so im all settled in now and have got to know my new roomies. They are all really nice. Well there is one room mate I havn't met yet but im sure shes cool.
Heres a lil bit bout each roomie
Alice - shes a tad crazy i moved in on her birthday. shes very funny and when she goes out you have to watch out for her coz she might go off with strange men! LOL
Aaron - hes so funny and thinks im precious. A little thing about aaron is that he is gay! Its a good thing coz hes hilarious and has made me feel welcome since I moved in. He's the floor rep.
Jason - he has the coolest hair ever! He has a giant affro and is also a drama student like me! One day i vow i will ruffle that affro!
Kaley - shes lovely one of those girls who is very nice and very pretty (theres one on every floor and thats her). She likes to suddenly burst into song alot too.
Celia - Shes quite nice shes doing primary teaching and reunited me with my friend from sixth form which was cool!
Patrick - hes from America and only here to christmas (which isn't that long) and is hardly ever here I think ive only seen him once!
Hannah - I have yet to meet her. I will meet her either sunday or monday. She's currently at home because it's her reading week.
So yeah thats my house mates. Its a mixed bunch really but i get on with all of them so thats really cool! Thumbs up from me!
I have a key card to get into my room now instead of the normal bog standard key. So this causes huge fasination from me. Also I need to make sure I have it with me at all times because I need it to get into my room all the time because once the door closes it locks! So far ive been ok but i think sooner or later Im gonna forget!

My New Room!

Well after alot of trips back and forth from my old room to my new one everything is in!! I had a couple of little helpers that helped me move all my stuff from one place to another! Thankyou Jordan and Beth! Oh and thanks to Jude who helped me unpack everything!
My new room is sooooo awesome! I have my own little bathroom and its not scabby (like mikes teehee) its really cool! The kitchen is humungus! Its great!
It took me and Jude ages and ages to unpack everything! I nearly fell off my spinny chair (which is awesum it moves up and down and everything!) about three times whilst sticking up photographs! It was funny looking back but at times i did fear for my life! After all that unpacking me and Jude were so hungry and we needed to do some shopping so we decided to go to Asda which very conveniently has a McDonalds inside! So we killed two birds with one stone. I was very disapointed though because Asda had run out of my Yorkie cookies :( I always buy them! Its so bad when me and Jude go out because we just get silly! Shes so funny and i love her to pieces!
My flatmates also seem very nice which is really cool! I'm just so glad to live with and be around nice people for a change.
I am also very proud of myself today because I set up my internet all by myself! I feel like a grown-up! Its so cool! So im very happy at the moment!

Pop n fresh travels to Rochester

This weekend i went to Rochester. For people who don't know Rochester well (like i didn't) its the most BORING place in the whole world!!! It's even more boring than Colchester! Yeh thats right VERY boring! The only reason i went was to see my friend Mike (yeh the crazy one who rang me at some unearthly hour of the night shouting weeeeiner down the phone!). I can understand why he did it now because he was overcome with bordom from living in the most boring place ever!!
So after 3 hours of being on a train and my ipod running out of battery when i got to Chelmesford I finally got there. I then waited for Mike for about 10 minutes! He only lives about 2 minutes from the train station.... what was he doing?
Anyways Mike thought it would be funny to call me names ALL weekend! Ok so here are the nasty names that Mike thought up dwarfina (coz im vertically challenged) and Popnfresh (because apparently im fat!). For those of you who do not know what or who popnfresh is (because i didnt) its this fat guy made of dough! Mikes just so overcome by jealousy of me that he feels that he needs to call me names to make him feel better about himself! One day that boy will pay!
So yeh we didnt do much all weekend just ate and slept and walked into Chatham (because Rochester is rubbish and boring!). Did I meation that Rochester is BORING? oh i did see 'The DaVinci Code' which was very good. It really made me think. What if Jesus did have a baby with Mary Magdalen? hmmmm. Could I be related to Jesus? If anyone has any strong views on the davinci code then please share your thoughts.
I'm moving tomorrow! Yay! Tomorrow i get the key to my new room and move out of this hole full of bullies! So tonight whilst watchin good old corrie i will be packing my bags to move about 300 meters away tomorrow afternoon! So i will let you know how it all goes!

hair today, move house tomorrow (well not really), essay due in soon!

I got my hair cut today its not as extreme as johnny mitch but its different. You know before your hair cut you look at models in magazines and think ooooh thats nice? Well i did that and I thought yeh I'm gonna look sooooo cool! yeh right! LOL So my hair dresser cuts me in this fringe just like the one on the model. I really don't know if I like it. This always happens to me! I always change my mind about the look when it is me who looks like it! It will take awhile for me to get used to it. Nobody apart from my hairdresser has seen it yet so i'm waiting for reactions from people. I hate the reaction I always get from my brother it goes something like this: "Woah! Uh oh!!....i mean ummm....it looks um good..yeh!". Not exactly the most ecouraging of comments! But thats just him for you!
I havn't really been up to a lot recently I got a phone call from the head of my college at uni saying that she had a room for me! I'm so thrilled because things in my halls aren't too good and I will be glad to move out! She gave me two decisons and they were a room in lee house with only 8 people to share a kitchen with and ensuite, or a room exactly like the one i have already just 2 floors up. What would you choose? A room that is exactly the same as i already have where my current nasty housemates can still get onto my floor or a brand new room with my own bathroom where my current nasty housemates can't get into? Seems pretty easy decison to me! I decided on Lee house with the ensuite! So thats good. I won't be moving in until next monday because I'm at home at the moment because it's my reading week.
I have an essay to do in this 'reading week' (or doss week) and so far i've done about 17 words lol! I need to do 1000 words but I will eventually get around to it. I'm one of these people who leaves it to the last minute as you will probably know if you know me well. I just am soooo lazy lol! Ah well it will get done! Infact I'd better stop rambling on here and do it!